my jacket looks like what every other boy on the street is wearing, and
they won’t know that I dance
all my nights away so I can breathe okay
the next day.
They won’t know that I’m grateful for this snow,
because I’ve just got a fresh blanket
to cover me and my mum up tonight.
They won’t know anything, and I’ll just be another kid
doing his organic chemistry homework. I’ll just be another kid trying to finish up his organic chemistry homework.
When I find a guy who doesn’t love me the way
I love him, I stay with him anyway and I do not leave until
he throws me away. I kiss him until he drains all the
warmth and color from my face, but I thank him when he is
done.
When the lights dim out at the nightclub and he puts his hand
around my waist, I
Feel relieved. The theme tonight is sophomore masquerade,
and well, I like to believe that I’m an expert at masquerade balls. I’ve got my moves
pinned down from the top to the bottom, and I can
pretend like no one else can. I’m in the middle of the dance floor,
cash raining down the hair that I curled, burned and dyed for a man I do not love,
but no one knows who I am and I know no one. That’s exactly how masquerade balls are supposed to be, and I love it. And when the clock strikes eight, I tell them all that I need to go,
because I’ve still got organic chemistry homework that I need to finish for the morning. I tell them that I’m just another kid trying to finish up his organic chemistry homework, and they believe me.
When my friends go to the beach and build
sandcastles, I get nervous. I get nervous, because
the sea will eventually wash them away. And when it does,
I might cry. I’m usually good at pretending and hiding, but
when my friends go to the beach and build sandcastles, I might slip and cry, because I can’t control how I feel.
I’m terrified of crying, because if I cry, they will finally find out.
They will finally find out
that my sand castle had been washed away
a very long time ago. Underneath my skin is tumbleweed love, a
love built for movie scripts and a life built on topsoil. I go where the wind takes me, fly where
the pigeons know best, and love where the sun doesn’t
shine. I’ve gotten so used to this lifestyle that I guess I can call it love.
I cannot live without poverty. He brought me nothing, but he is my everything
and he gave me everything I am. I hope I don’t have his kids.
He hurts me, but I can never run away. I might have his kids.
I’ve got to stay right here with him,
I’ve got to stay and hide,
I’ve got to hide it all or my friends will know that I’m not just another kid
doing his organic chemistry homework.
I’m not just another kid
doing his organic chemistry homework.
I’m not just another kid
trying to finish up his organic chemistry homework,